Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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