Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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