I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize