Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
