using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize