problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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