Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
