Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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