You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
