for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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