Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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