What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
