All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize