Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
