The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
