just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
