never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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