u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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