just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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