she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
