im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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