I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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