The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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