sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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