butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
