I am in a vortex of obligation.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
