Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
