Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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