True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
only you would photoshop your dick
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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