You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
