And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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