she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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