i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize