he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Randomize
