I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
