Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
