Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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