Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
