He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
