I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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