Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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