the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Im part way to drunk.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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