On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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