Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
