...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
