he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Randomize
