And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
