Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize