Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
