I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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