I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
