Dual....:-)
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
