Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
