DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
