Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
