Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
