I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
They have beer where we have blood.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize