He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
