What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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