He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
