At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
