Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
