HIV tests are more positive than that guy
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
