i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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