So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
