After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
ok first of all what the fuck
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
