Its about making memories worth repressing
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And then my night got REAL pukey
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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