oh god the rape fog is back!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
